What's in a name?

So you see the name and now to know what's in the name...........
The Wait:  This stands for so many things.   The obvious is the wait for the baby.  It's 16 more weeks and I will wait.  Then there  is the wait that I have done my entier life to finally be in shape.  To have actual good health. 

Now....

The Weight:  This one seems obvious and truly for the most part it is.  I have been over weight my entire life.  Sure I have lost a lot of weight over the years....like 100's of pounds.  BUT in the end I I never keep it off.  The other weight is the one you cant see, the one that represents the enormous amount of life that I am currently trying to take on.

Here is a little back story on how I got to the place I am currently residing in.  ( that place would be called overwhelmed )  When I gave birth to my daughter a little over three years ago I was the happiest mother.  I was also extremely heavy.  I went into the hospital at a large and in charge size of 275 pounds.  Once my daughters first birthday had past I realized I was still huge.  One November night my husband looked at my knowing how miserable I was about my weight and said some magic words.  He said " What can I do to help you?"  It was apparently what I needed because I had managed my way down to 207 pounds by her second birthday  Then life did what it does best and got a little messy.  I'm not going to go into the details...I went into them enough in my actual life.  Its important to know that something BIG happened but you can really just make it whatever you want ( car accident, alien abduction, death...just think life changing event )   In the end it all worked out but it still left my life very altered.  It also made me drop another 15 or 17 pounds. ( I don't actually know all I know is that it wasn't in a healthy way). Staying with myself I gained and lost weight over the next few months, I ended up gaining weight.  However, I never stopped working out so that was good.  Then I decided that I wanted to have another baby. ( part of the crazy alter and transition that I was speaking of )  The thought though of gaining weight and struggling again ( pregnancy sucked for me )  was just a lot to take in.
SOOOO to make this already long story not as long....It happened.  And through a lot of things I'm out the other end at 16 weeks to go. 
Now my focus is on not waiting  ( that word again ) till this little boy is year old to get healthy.  I'm going to try my best to keep my weight in check these next weeks.  Keep my focus on getting in shape after this baby, so in turn really staying focused as I get into the "OMG I WANT TO EAT EVERY CANDY BAR IN THE STORE" phase of pregnancy.

So that's what is in a name...and that is the focus of this blog.  Its about life and gaining control.  Learning to wait and loosing weight.

A blog you say...

I once had a blog..but the blog is now gone and in blog heaven.  Some things happened and the blog no longer seemed like it was right for me.

So a little more then a year later....I have a new blog.  Yes, your looking at it now.

In the true fashion of my wonderful self, I decided to take up something new when I only had about 9 million things on my plate.  And whats funny about that....that's how I knew it was right.  That's how I knew the wait was over.  That's how I knew that my time of change and transition was over and I was now in the next phase of life.

Now this may sound a little strange when you look from the outside in.  From the outside...I'm 16 weeks away from having a baby.  I'm back in school after year long break and a change in my degree ( my work pays me to learn...so its more then worth it to change).  I'm about to start studying for an exam for work that is considered to be fairly hard. I'm currently in the process of remodeling my home ( that's a joint effort on the part of my husband as well)   I'm basically taking on anything that comes my way while growing a little human inside me.  A little boy.

Somehow I feel more at rest then I have in a long time.  Feeling like I can take on a thousand things because this is who I am.

*Picture of myself a year ago. Im a happy person even when my life is upside down*